It's summer, but still I dream of school-- constantly. Sometimes the dreams are full of stress, sometimes they make no sense. Sometimes they are about students, former students, or parents. Sometimes they are about my colleagues being mean to me. Sometimes they are nightmares about my first school. Sometimes I dream of being late to everything or not wearing enough clothing to school. Even in sleep, I cannot escape my job and the anxieties that come with it.
A few years ago, I had one of my more memorable dreams involving two rambunctious students. These two were always finding themselves in the midst of one bad decision after another-- cutting class to play dice in the park, punching their hand through a window, cursing at a teacher, or stealing a custodian's keys and exploring some locked classrooms.
In this dream, I found myself hiding out in my childhood home. Across the street was no longer the tall trees obscuring the rural family homes I grew up next to but a large apartment building representing my current urban lifestyle.
And someone was shooting at me.
Somehow I knew-- it was these two students.
The next day I said to the students, "You know you guys are really stressing me out. I'm even dreaming about you."
When I told them the details of the dream and their failed assassination attempt, they looked at me surprised. "But Jamie, dat's crazy. We would never do that to you. We don't even own AK-47s."
Well, thank goodness for that.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
My Epic Summer
Today was the 33rd day of my summer vacation. To be sure that I am doing all the right things to relax and recharge for September, I decided to make a list. And then I made a second list.
What I have done so far this summer:
1. Gone to the beach 4 times.
2. Backpacked on the Appalachian trail in Maine for 5 days.
3. Attended the STEM institute and participated in a 3-day workshop called Green Design Lab Curriculum with SolarOne.
4. Completed a weeklong creative writing seminar called Deconstructing Voice with Ayana Mathis at the Cullman Center Institute for Teachers.
5. Wrote approximately 3 short stories.
6. Participated in a week long workshop with Facing History called Race and Membership in United States History.
7. Attended a private tour of the Jacob Lawrence Migration Series exhibit and reception at MoMA.
8. Drank wine.
9. Ate cheese.
10. Watched the first season of Homeland.
11. Read approximately 7 short stories.
12. Donated 2 bags of clothes to GoodWill.
13. Went to my first open house to look at an apartment for sale.
14. Ran into 1 student on the sidewalk and nodded my head in recognition.
15. Rode my bike
16. Ate an entire lobster.
17. Went to a rooftop BBQ.
18. Went to happy hour.
19. Spent quality time with my boyfriend.
20. Ate grilled corn.
What I would still like to do this summer:
1. Go to the beach at least 4 more times.
2. Go backpacking again.
3. Read more books.
4. Write more stories.
5. Go to the movies.
6. Drink more wine.
7. Eat more cheese.
8. Donate more of my belongings to GoodWill.
9. Practice my Spanish.
10. Go to more museums.
11. Watch season 2 of Homeland.
12. Think about all the workshops I've done this summer and decide what classes to teach in the Fall.
13. Begin designing class curriculum to teach in the Fall.
14. Get a massage.
15. Watch an outdoor movie in the park.
16. Eat more grilled corn.
Am I forgetting anything?
What I have done so far this summer:
1. Gone to the beach 4 times.
2. Backpacked on the Appalachian trail in Maine for 5 days.
3. Attended the STEM institute and participated in a 3-day workshop called Green Design Lab Curriculum with SolarOne.
4. Completed a weeklong creative writing seminar called Deconstructing Voice with Ayana Mathis at the Cullman Center Institute for Teachers.
5. Wrote approximately 3 short stories.
6. Participated in a week long workshop with Facing History called Race and Membership in United States History.
7. Attended a private tour of the Jacob Lawrence Migration Series exhibit and reception at MoMA.
8. Drank wine.
9. Ate cheese.
10. Watched the first season of Homeland.
11. Read approximately 7 short stories.
12. Donated 2 bags of clothes to GoodWill.
13. Went to my first open house to look at an apartment for sale.
14. Ran into 1 student on the sidewalk and nodded my head in recognition.
15. Rode my bike
16. Ate an entire lobster.
17. Went to a rooftop BBQ.
18. Went to happy hour.
19. Spent quality time with my boyfriend.
20. Ate grilled corn.
What I would still like to do this summer:
1. Go to the beach at least 4 more times.
2. Go backpacking again.
3. Read more books.
4. Write more stories.
5. Go to the movies.
6. Drink more wine.
7. Eat more cheese.
8. Donate more of my belongings to GoodWill.
9. Practice my Spanish.
10. Go to more museums.
11. Watch season 2 of Homeland.
12. Think about all the workshops I've done this summer and decide what classes to teach in the Fall.
13. Begin designing class curriculum to teach in the Fall.
14. Get a massage.
15. Watch an outdoor movie in the park.
16. Eat more grilled corn.
Am I forgetting anything?
Monday, June 8, 2015
The Big Tenure Update
Today, it finally happened. After six years of teaching in the New York City Public School system, I was granted tenure.
It came as a huge surprise. During our student awards ceremony, I was called up to the front along with three of my colleagues. Then our Union Chapter Leader, the Principal and two Assistant Principals announced that we finally did it.
And this is how we responded:
Thursday, May 28, 2015
One Important Thing I Learned This Year
Here's a thing I've learned this year: HAVE CLASS OUTSIDE.
Kids love being outside. My students in particular love smoking weed outside. So I give them a different option: come sit under the gazebo and maybe I'll bring some snacks and we can read and write and discuss literature.
And this seems to be working.
And this seems to be working.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Tenure Binder version 2.0
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| The Tenure Binder |
One year ago today, I applied for tenure and was denied. I do not know why. That is something teachers are not told. There's no rule that says if you deny a teacher tenure that you must give them some kind of feedback so they know why. And it's probably because it has nothing to do with the individual. It's all a numbers game and "they" can't give too many teachers tenure. That would look bad. Today, I revamped my binder and sent it off to the Superintendent's Office. Now, I wait.
Here is a tiny glimpse of what I included in my binder.
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| Impact on Student Learning: Evidence of Student Growth |
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| Professional Responsibilities: Evidence of Participation in the Professional Community |
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| Teacher Practice: Evidence of Planning and Preparation |
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The Art of Dystopia
Today I taught what may have been the best lesson of my entire teaching career thus far. It probably never would have happened if I didn't work in such an amazing school. I was given the opportunity to design a new class. I decided on "Post-Apocalyptic Worlds and Dystopias in Literature." Today was day two.
On day one, I asked students to write about society. What is it? What makes a society function? What makes a society perfect? While students did this I handed them each a number (1-4) that we would refer to shortly. What I didn't tell them was that I was grouping them heterogeneously. We shared out responses to the writing prompts and discussed them. Then I told students to think of our classroom as a society and think about what they need to make the classroom a perfect learning environment. Students said things like communication and respect before I interrupted them and showed them my list of 5 rules one by one.
At first, they just thought I was a really traditional, really strict teacher. Slowly, they began to catch on. This was just too crazy to be for real. Before there could be too much dissent, I introduced their first task.
The kids mostly laughed as I passed out the four assignments. Group #1, the so-called "Smartest Group" was given 10 simple math problems to solve. As they completed the task they were given an overwhelming amount of positive praise, golden stars, and candy. Group #2, the "second smartest" was given a black and white drawing to color in with crayons. Group #3, "the second dumbest" was asked to write in 150 words why my classroom is perfect. Lastly, Group # 4, the "dumbest group" was given a science report about Ecological Problems in Latvian and told to write an article about it. The students played along, laughing, as I passed out their "daily pill" and said the most absurd things to each group.
Finally, we reflected on the process and discussed how these types of rules and systems might be put into place, how people could slowly be manipulated into thinking this was an effective educational model and even connected it to "tracking"-- a legit practice where students are homogeneously grouped into classes based on academic performance and ability. They left class that day having the first-hand experience of living in a Dystopian society.
Today, we started our first piece of literature, Kurt Vonnegut's "2 B R 0 2 B" (pronounced to be or naught to be). After a philosophical discussion about life, death, and immortality, we reviewed characteristics of an utopian and dystopian society then started reading the story aloud together. Slowly kids began volunteering to read. Kids were actively annotating the text, even pausing while reading to react and ask questions. In my six years of teaching, I have never seen a class so engaged in a reading. It was an incredible sight. Kids were analyzing the text aloud, trying to decipher the underlying meaning of a song. Noticing the repetition of the color purple and wondering what it might symbolize before one student said, "Well, traditionally purple symbolizes royalty or being upperclass so maybe in this case since the gas chamber workers are wearing purple it's like death is a path to the upper class or even royalty." I was blown away.
We ran out of time halfway through the story. I asked the class if they could finish reading the story over their weeklong February break and it was unanimous-- "YES!"
"Holy shit," I thought. "They are so into this."
After class I went back to my room, entered my attendance and emailed advisors about absences with a minor addition. I also gave a shout out to some of the students who were in class. Many of these students have taken other classes with me. They've been excessively absent, they're constantly late, or rowdy or just refuse to do the written assignments. Among colleagues, some have jokingly been referred to as "the bad boys" for cutting class and getting stoned during the school day. I looked at the list and hit send. Then I thought, "I need to email the students too."
And so I did.
Dear [the seven anonymous students],
I just wanted to thank you for being especially AWESOME in class today. Whether it was being on time for class or participating actively with insightful comments or actively annotating the text or just volunteering to read aloud, you all did something great today. I'm so glad to have you in class. Keep it up!
Hope you guys have a great break and you enjoy reading the rest of 2BR02B. Can't wait to discuss it when we get back to school.
On day one, I asked students to write about society. What is it? What makes a society function? What makes a society perfect? While students did this I handed them each a number (1-4) that we would refer to shortly. What I didn't tell them was that I was grouping them heterogeneously. We shared out responses to the writing prompts and discussed them. Then I told students to think of our classroom as a society and think about what they need to make the classroom a perfect learning environment. Students said things like communication and respect before I interrupted them and showed them my list of 5 rules one by one.
 |
| The Dystopian Classroom Rules |
The kids mostly laughed as I passed out the four assignments. Group #1, the so-called "Smartest Group" was given 10 simple math problems to solve. As they completed the task they were given an overwhelming amount of positive praise, golden stars, and candy. Group #2, the "second smartest" was given a black and white drawing to color in with crayons. Group #3, "the second dumbest" was asked to write in 150 words why my classroom is perfect. Lastly, Group # 4, the "dumbest group" was given a science report about Ecological Problems in Latvian and told to write an article about it. The students played along, laughing, as I passed out their "daily pill" and said the most absurd things to each group.
Finally, we reflected on the process and discussed how these types of rules and systems might be put into place, how people could slowly be manipulated into thinking this was an effective educational model and even connected it to "tracking"-- a legit practice where students are homogeneously grouped into classes based on academic performance and ability. They left class that day having the first-hand experience of living in a Dystopian society.
Today, we started our first piece of literature, Kurt Vonnegut's "2 B R 0 2 B" (pronounced to be or naught to be). After a philosophical discussion about life, death, and immortality, we reviewed characteristics of an utopian and dystopian society then started reading the story aloud together. Slowly kids began volunteering to read. Kids were actively annotating the text, even pausing while reading to react and ask questions. In my six years of teaching, I have never seen a class so engaged in a reading. It was an incredible sight. Kids were analyzing the text aloud, trying to decipher the underlying meaning of a song. Noticing the repetition of the color purple and wondering what it might symbolize before one student said, "Well, traditionally purple symbolizes royalty or being upperclass so maybe in this case since the gas chamber workers are wearing purple it's like death is a path to the upper class or even royalty." I was blown away.
We ran out of time halfway through the story. I asked the class if they could finish reading the story over their weeklong February break and it was unanimous-- "YES!"
"Holy shit," I thought. "They are so into this."
After class I went back to my room, entered my attendance and emailed advisors about absences with a minor addition. I also gave a shout out to some of the students who were in class. Many of these students have taken other classes with me. They've been excessively absent, they're constantly late, or rowdy or just refuse to do the written assignments. Among colleagues, some have jokingly been referred to as "the bad boys" for cutting class and getting stoned during the school day. I looked at the list and hit send. Then I thought, "I need to email the students too."
And so I did.
Dear [the seven anonymous students],
I just wanted to thank you for being especially AWESOME in class today. Whether it was being on time for class or participating actively with insightful comments or actively annotating the text or just volunteering to read aloud, you all did something great today. I'm so glad to have you in class. Keep it up!
Hope you guys have a great break and you enjoy reading the rest of 2BR02B. Can't wait to discuss it when we get back to school.
Jamie
And what I didn't say, but felt so strongly, was thank you for reminding me why I love being a teacher.
And what I didn't say, but felt so strongly, was thank you for reminding me why I love being a teacher.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Fight the System
Tomorrow marks the end of my winter vacation. The end of my two weeks of freedom. Two weeks that should be stress-free yet I find myself stressed anyway. Dreaming about school. Worrying about school. Feeling hopeless. Before the break we found out that the superintendent threatened to fire our principal at the end of the school year if he can't get our attendance and passing rates up. If this happens, he'll be replaced by a "turnaround" principal. Someone who will abandon the philosophy and culture of the school to make our data look better.
Apparently data is all that matters anymore. Did you pass enough kids? Did your attendance rates improve? Are graduation rates up? Did they pass that standardized test?
Why are these the only questions they care about? Why aren't we asking the following?:
No one seems to recognize that we are a transfer high school. That means we take kids on the verge of dropping out. We take kids with mental health issues. Kids who are homeless. Kids who have been mentally and physically abused. Kids who are stopped and frisked everyday on their way to and from school. Kids who carry a concealed weapon for protection in case they get jumped. Kids with addiction problems. Kids who have never before felt accepted by their community. Kids who were bullied for being gay, appearing gay, or just being too different or too weird. At my school, these kids are supported not only by the adults who work with them but by their own teenage peers.
But no one sees this.
They don't see the girl with bruises and scratches on her face, who was jumped because someone had a beef with her mom. They don't see the fake suicide video a student posted on facebook just to get some attention. They don't see the boy with an infant son who was stabbed in the chest in his apartment. The 21 year old who was shot in the stomach multiple times when he was fourteen. The girl with a 3 year old child and a restraining order against the father. The kid with the eating disorder. The kid who doesn't know where he's sleeping each night. The kid who at first glance might seem like she has bad skin but in reality she's struggling with a heroin addiction. The girl with cognitive deficits who was gang raped on camera at her last school. They don't see the external factors in a student's life that makes school their last priority. They only see that kids aren't coming to class enough and ignore all the other factors that are keeping kids from class.
They don't see the kids getting hired at their internships. The kids who go beyond the requirements and write a 12-page paper when they are asked to write 6 pages. They don't see the talent show where kids let their guard down and sing, dance, and read their poetry. Where kids call one another out for stealing an ipod, telling their classmates, "Give it back you scumbags!" They don't see the tears of joy, the hugs, the smiles, and the gratitude from parents on graduation day when they've finally made it. They don't see the intellectual, social, and emotional growth that each and every student who enters our building experiences.
I love my school. I love my colleagues. I love my students. I love what we stand for. It's difficult to imagine teaching anywhere else, where what we're doing matters more, where we can have a greater, more positive impact of the lives of young people.
Now, it may be the time where we take a stand, when we tear up the exam booklets and fight for our existence.
Apparently data is all that matters anymore. Did you pass enough kids? Did your attendance rates improve? Are graduation rates up? Did they pass that standardized test?
Why are these the only questions they care about? Why aren't we asking the following?:
- Do kids know how to think critically?
- How have they grown as a whole person?
- What have they learned beyond how to take a test?
- Are they receiving the social and emotional supports they need to be more successful in school and beyond?
- Are kids prepared to be productive citizens?
- Are they really ready to graduate high school?
No one seems to recognize that we are a transfer high school. That means we take kids on the verge of dropping out. We take kids with mental health issues. Kids who are homeless. Kids who have been mentally and physically abused. Kids who are stopped and frisked everyday on their way to and from school. Kids who carry a concealed weapon for protection in case they get jumped. Kids with addiction problems. Kids who have never before felt accepted by their community. Kids who were bullied for being gay, appearing gay, or just being too different or too weird. At my school, these kids are supported not only by the adults who work with them but by their own teenage peers.
But no one sees this.
They don't see the girl with bruises and scratches on her face, who was jumped because someone had a beef with her mom. They don't see the fake suicide video a student posted on facebook just to get some attention. They don't see the boy with an infant son who was stabbed in the chest in his apartment. The 21 year old who was shot in the stomach multiple times when he was fourteen. The girl with a 3 year old child and a restraining order against the father. The kid with the eating disorder. The kid who doesn't know where he's sleeping each night. The kid who at first glance might seem like she has bad skin but in reality she's struggling with a heroin addiction. The girl with cognitive deficits who was gang raped on camera at her last school. They don't see the external factors in a student's life that makes school their last priority. They only see that kids aren't coming to class enough and ignore all the other factors that are keeping kids from class.
They don't see the kids getting hired at their internships. The kids who go beyond the requirements and write a 12-page paper when they are asked to write 6 pages. They don't see the talent show where kids let their guard down and sing, dance, and read their poetry. Where kids call one another out for stealing an ipod, telling their classmates, "Give it back you scumbags!" They don't see the tears of joy, the hugs, the smiles, and the gratitude from parents on graduation day when they've finally made it. They don't see the intellectual, social, and emotional growth that each and every student who enters our building experiences.
I love my school. I love my colleagues. I love my students. I love what we stand for. It's difficult to imagine teaching anywhere else, where what we're doing matters more, where we can have a greater, more positive impact of the lives of young people.
Now, it may be the time where we take a stand, when we tear up the exam booklets and fight for our existence.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Happy Birthday Miss
Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday. It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had. Second in comparison was my 25th birthday, during my first year of teaching, when all my students stopped class to sing the Stevie Wonder rendition of Happy Birthday. This year, not only did family and friends send their love through phone calls, emails, text messages, cards, hugs, and birthday drinks, but so did my coworkers and even my students (minus the birthday drinks part).
In my advisory we had a holiday celebration filled with cookies, chocolates, cupcakes, apple cider, candy canes, and a Hanukkah cookie cake brought in by a parent. We filled the classroom with two fake Christmas trees, several strings of lights, garland and wreaths, holly, and the tiniest string of blue and silver Hanukkah decorations, essentially all the holiday decor we could find stored in the room from the last two teachers who resided here. We listened to holiday music on Pandora, skipping the songs that felt just a little bit too religious for school. It was a wonderful 90 minutes.
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Kids I hadn't seen in days, weeks, or even months made an appearance, wished me a happy birthday, gave me a hug, asked me how old I was to which I replied "59" while they ogled the abundance of sweets before them. One student hugged me a little too tightly and for a little too long and signed my birthday card, "I <3 U". Another student believed me when I told him I was 45 saying, "You're the same age as my mom! But she actually looks younger than you." And the rest just asked, "What you doing tonight? Going to the bar? You gonna be hungover tomorrow?" To which I just played dumb and said, "I'm going to spend time with some friends." And in my head thought, "Hell yeah, I'm going to the bar and I'm not coming in until noon tomorrow!"
In my advisory we had a holiday celebration filled with cookies, chocolates, cupcakes, apple cider, candy canes, and a Hanukkah cookie cake brought in by a parent. We filled the classroom with two fake Christmas trees, several strings of lights, garland and wreaths, holly, and the tiniest string of blue and silver Hanukkah decorations, essentially all the holiday decor we could find stored in the room from the last two teachers who resided here. We listened to holiday music on Pandora, skipping the songs that felt just a little bit too religious for school. It was a wonderful 90 minutes.
Kids I hadn't seen in days, weeks, or even months made an appearance, wished me a happy birthday, gave me a hug, asked me how old I was to which I replied "59" while they ogled the abundance of sweets before them. One student hugged me a little too tightly and for a little too long and signed my birthday card, "I <3 U". Another student believed me when I told him I was 45 saying, "You're the same age as my mom! But she actually looks younger than you." And the rest just asked, "What you doing tonight? Going to the bar? You gonna be hungover tomorrow?" To which I just played dumb and said, "I'm going to spend time with some friends." And in my head thought, "Hell yeah, I'm going to the bar and I'm not coming in until noon tomorrow!"
Thursday, December 11, 2014
The "Curse" of the Holidays?
The holiday season is here. For teachers, it can be the toughest time of the school year. It's when the kids act out the most, when they disappear from school, and when they get into fights over the most mundane disagreements. Something about the holidays, brings out the worst. As teachers, we count down the days until winter break, until we have nearly two weeks of freedom, of relaxation. For students, the winter break could be little more than a disruption in the most stable part of their lives. At school, there is food, there is heat, there are rules and consequences, there are adults who care, and people that have your back. Many students don't have these luxuries at home. As we, the teachers, excitedly cross the days off the calendar, we must also try to contain the chaos, diminish students' anxiety, and work to maintain a positive school culture. Despite the stress that comes with this task, I have found that this is also the time of year when I feel the most thankful to be a part of my school community.
Every year my school holds a Thanksgiving luncheon for students. Everyone on staff contributes whether it be donating funds, cooking two turkeys, making their "famous" mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, stuffing, collard greens, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, gluten-free cookies, pumpkin pie, or their "healthy but delicious" roasted vegetables. Parents donate food and some even come in to help serve. We all pitch in to make sure our students know how much we care about them and make sure they have at least one special Thanksgiving meal.
One of my favorite moments this year was when I sat down with a group of students who talked about how delicious the food was and thanked us for cooking. One of my colleagues spoke of a conversation she overheard. A student complained about the meal saying, "It wasn't that good." He was immediately shut down by another student who said, "In what other school do your teachers spend their personal time at home cooking for you and then serve you a plate overflowing with food? They have families and friends they could be spending their free time with, but they weren't. They were cooking for you. How dare you complain." And it warmed my heart all the more when the students sitting around the table listening to this story all concurred: We are lucky to be at this school.
Every year my school holds a Thanksgiving luncheon for students. Everyone on staff contributes whether it be donating funds, cooking two turkeys, making their "famous" mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, stuffing, collard greens, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, gluten-free cookies, pumpkin pie, or their "healthy but delicious" roasted vegetables. Parents donate food and some even come in to help serve. We all pitch in to make sure our students know how much we care about them and make sure they have at least one special Thanksgiving meal.
One of my favorite moments this year was when I sat down with a group of students who talked about how delicious the food was and thanked us for cooking. One of my colleagues spoke of a conversation she overheard. A student complained about the meal saying, "It wasn't that good." He was immediately shut down by another student who said, "In what other school do your teachers spend their personal time at home cooking for you and then serve you a plate overflowing with food? They have families and friends they could be spending their free time with, but they weren't. They were cooking for you. How dare you complain." And it warmed my heart all the more when the students sitting around the table listening to this story all concurred: We are lucky to be at this school.
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