Teacher's First Post

Five years ago, I was spending my summer searching for my first teaching job. I knew nothing. I had just finished my summer training for the NYC Teaching Fellows program. Three years ago I was on the run from a psychotic principal and interviewing with the emotionally stable principal of my current school. Two months ago, I taught my final class of the school year. And four days ago, I decided to start a blog about it.

I don't know how people start blogs. I looked at some blogs but they were all so old that I couldn't even get to the first entry without clicking "older posts" way more times than I have the patience for. I don't know what my first entry is supposed to look like. I googled "how to start a blog" and found this, but it was not helpful. I searched for the "best blogs" and found this, but I got bored quickly and none of these "great" blogs were really in the realm of what I wanted to write about. Yes, many of these blogs were about "me" as in "them" as in the author of the blog. And yes, my blog will be about me, but a very specific part of "me" and who I am. It's about me, the teacher. It's about my work life. It's about my students. It's about the other teachers I work with. It's about the administrators I've had to work with. It's about the bureaucracy of our education system. It's about trying to survive the New York City Public School system.

On September 2, 2014 I will begin my sixth year as a high school special education teacher in New York City. I enter the new school year knowing these last five years have been the most difficult five years of my life. And with that knowledge, I'm still going back. I often think back to some of the comments I've heard over the years about choosing to be a teacher:
"Wow. That's quite the bureaucracy to get yourself in."
"You have to be clinically insane to teach in a NYC public school."
"If I went through what you did in my second year of teaching, I would not still be a teacher."
"I could never do what you do."
"Are you sure you really want to teach?"
"Maybe this isn't the profession for you."
"Maybe this is just a bad year for you."
"You were meant to do this."
"You can get through this."
"You're an amazing teacher."
"I'm proud of you."

In my five years of teaching I have worked with phenomenal teachers, inspiring teachers, not-so-great teachers, amazing and not-so-amazing guidance staff, an unsupportive principal, and incredibly supportive, wonderful administrators. I have students who are motivated and unmotivated. Students will a plethora of academic strengths and weaknesses. I have seen kids who can barely read and write struggle to navigate through high school. I've asked kids why they missed class and heard, "Because I spent the night locked up." I've laughed and joked with my students, my colleagues, parents, and even administrators. I have received the best and worst advice of my life. I've seen kids, parents, teachers, and administrators cry. I've lost four students and I've lost a colleague. I've never had a job that made me feel like everyday I was on an emotional roller-coaster not knowing what the next twist or turn would bring. Not knowing if I'd leave the building smiling, laughing, frowning, crying or desperately seeking happy hour.

There are a lot of opinions about education, about the students, about the school administrators, about the "right" kind of assessments, and especially about the teachers, but do they have the first hand experience of stepping inside a classroom of 34 pupils and trying to get through a lesson? Have they had to decide whether to teach to a test or teach kids how to think for themselves? Do they have to teach 20 year olds how to read and write text written on a 2nd grade level? Do they have to decide whether or not to wake up the student who fell asleep in class because he didn't have a home to sleep in the night before? Did they have to call ACS to report educational neglect or child abuse? Did they have to sit in a meeting with a parent and flinch every time the parent took a swing at their child? Have they been yelled at on the phone by a parent for having their child read a book? I'm writing this so that you can hear first-hand accounts of what being a public school teacher is really like before you make your judgments. And if you are a worker in the system, then I write this so that we may commiserate as brothers and sisters in the struggle.

And it's with some trepidation that I begin this blog on such a taboo issue that the wikihow on blogging told me absolutely not to blog about it.